Dancing in the Rain: An Inspirational Tale

It was a normal, busy morning, about 8:30 when, George, an elderly gentleman, well into his 80's, arrived at Queen Alexandra Hospital, Cosham, England, to have stitches removed from his thumb.

George told me that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:15 am. I weighed him and took his blood pressure and invited him take a seat in the waiting area, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On examination, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the Doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked George if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

George told me no, but that he needed to go to St Christopher's Nursing Home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she suffered from Alzheimer's disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a little late. George replied that she no longer knew who he was and that she had not recognized him in five years.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as George left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. 
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be,
And will not be.

Jungle Talk

Three animals were having a huge argument over who was the best.

The first, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his prey had nary a chance.

The second, a lion, based his claim on his strength ... None in the forest dared to challenge him.

The third, a skunk, insisted he needed neither flight nor strength to frighten off any creature.

As the trio debated the issue, an alligator came along and swallowed them all ... hawk, lion and stinker.

Joke: Life after Marriage

Daniel and Jessica, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When they got back, Jessica immediately 'phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, 'How was the honeymoon, dearest?'

'Oh, Ma,' she replied, 'the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic...'

Then Jessica burst out crying. 'But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Daniel started using the most ghastly language... saying things I've never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Ma.'

'Calm down, Jessica!,' said her mother, 'Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?'

Still sobbing, Jessica whispered, 'Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.'

Easy to Swallow?

My sister, Paula, and her husband, Chris, had just finished tucking their young ones into bed one evening when they heard crying coming from the children's room. Rushing in, they found Tommy crying hysterically.

He had accidentally swallowed a 5p piece and was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking could change his mind. Trying to calm him, Chris palmed a 5p coin that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to remove it from Tommy's ear.  Tommy, naturally, was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully - 'Do it again, Dad!'

Funny Tale of a Lost Senior Citizen

When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out.  I stopped and asked him what was wrong.

He told me, 'I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.'

I continued, 'Well, then why are you crying?'

He added, 'She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favourite biscuits, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.'

I said, 'Well, why are you crying?'

He said, 'For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favourite dessert and then we cuddle until the small hours.'

I inquired, 'Well then, why in the world would you be crying?'

He replied, 'I can't remember where I live.'

Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?' 

The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: 

• Work Out Barbie for $19.95

• Shopping Barbie for $19.95

• Beach Barbie for $19.95

• Disco Barbie for $19.95

• Ballerina Barbie for $19.95

•  and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It's what? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?' 

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs and answers: "Sir, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends and a key chain made with Ken's private parts."

A cleaver and silly story

Phil Gilliland, from Northern Ireland, visits his dentist in Southsea, Portsmouth because he feels something is not quite right in his mouth.

Dr Ansari, his dentist examines him and says, 'Phil, that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?'

Phil answers with a slight frown, 'All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious - Hollandaise

Sauce, I think it was. I loved it so much I now put it on everything: meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything.'

'Well,' says Dr Ansari, ' that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome.'

'Why chrome?' demands Phil.

To which Dr Ansari, the dentist, replies, 'It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.'